CORONAVIRUS DIARIES

 3/31/2020

Today I am sitting at my house.  I have been retired for three years now.  All private and public commerce has ceased, and activity has stopped in Jacksonville, Florida. 

Everything means all churches, mosques, and synagogues.  All beaches are closed in Florida, and only grocery stores, pharmacies, and medical facilities are open.  It means that every day is like Christmas Day, and no cars are on the road, and no restaurants are open.

On Christmas Day, people visit each other, have large dinners, share laughter, and drink.  Somebody is handing someone a present.  People are hugging long-lost friends and relatives.  Kisses on the cheeks and stolen smooches.  Grandparents are handing out checks to the younger generation.  Everybody and everything is tolerable.

Not now.  Grandma is locked up in an assisted living facility.  Several people have died.  Some of the staff at the complex have tested positive for the virus.  They are scared, with the most anxious workers writing their last will. 

All schools, both public and private, are closed.  The cafeterias are still cooking for children who rely on school for their daily meals.  But meals are bagged and handed out in the school parking lots in drive-through lanes.

I am more used to this than most people.  I have been a hermit in my 2,500 square foot house since 2018, when I retired from working in foster care.  You could say that I have been practicing how to “shelter in place.”

With me is just my dog, a large standard poodle named Maggie.  We both stay up too late and sleep too long in the mornings.  We have been doing this for two years.  Maggie is intrigued by all the dog walkers that come past the house now.  We also have joggers and runners.  Every now and then, her ears perk up when the baby strollers are pushed by the front window where she is watching.

I haven’t been to a store in two weeks.  Since my wife died, I have become an impulsive buyer.  It is tough to shop for one person in the grocery store.  As a result, I have been overbuying toilet paper, olive oil, frozen foods, and soups.  The last time I was at Costco I bought a case of Ramyun soup.  I have two refrigerators full of frozen food.  Also, there is a large pantry with dry beans, cans of tuna, vegetables, sauces.  One of my friends said that it looked like I was stocking up for the nuclear winter. 

How fast the world changed.  Grocery store shelves are empty, with people fighting over hand sanitizer and Clorox.

Consumer spending has fallen.  Saudi Arabia is waging an oil trade war with Russia.  Gas prices have fallen to $1.80 a gallon.  The last time the price was this low was my senior year in high school.  This is not newsworthy as travel has been restricted.  No one is driving anywhere, so the price of gas previously factored into the annual vacation expenses goes unreported.

There is so much oil on the world market that most of the supply is sitting offshore in large tankers waiting to be unloaded.

 

The world’s stock market has plunged over fifty percent.  There is no consumer spending. 

Stepping back.

President Xi Jinping or General Secretary, has accelerated the Gross Domestic Product of China.  This vision, called “Belt and Road,” is a policy to challenge the United States on the world stage directly.

The United States is being led by a historical figure, Donald John Trump.  Trump has been mocked around the world.  His background includes draft-dodging due to bone spurs in his feet, bankrupting hotels and casinos, public adultery with prostitutes during his three marriages, past criminal associations, and a narcissistic mental state.  How did he get elected?

There are only two political parties in the United States.  Donald Trump is Republican, and the other is Democrat.  The Democrats put up Hillary Clinton as their nominee.  Hillary is the most hated woman in the United States. 

Hillary always displayed aggressive ambition.  She married former President Bill Clinton to achieve her rising star power.  Unfortunately, Bill Clinton was indicted and the subject of Impeachment for having sexual relations with a young female intern in the Oval Office of the White House.  There have been lingering questions about her role as Secretary of State under Barrack Obama.  She also has been tied to questionable financial transactions her entire life.  It is generally agreed that she is greedy.  This is unfortunate as it is time for a woman to become President.  Other women have kept out many well-qualified candidates.

Now

President Xi Jinping was notified in December 2019 that there was another virus occurring in Wuhan Province.  Local authorities reported to Beijing they would contain it.  The infection source appeared to come from the large “wet market” or live animal market in Wuhan.  It was determined that the virus was transmitted either by bats or pangolins, which are favorites of the local population.

He would later regret that this was considered a local problem that could be contained in a closed society.

4/2/2020

Today the Governor forbid a cruise ship with 700 passengers from landing.   Two hundred passengers have tested positive for the virus.

Joseph texted me that he had material from the hospital and wanted Robbin Neff to sew several face masks.

 

4/3/2020

 

I had to get up as my housecleaner; two Brazilian sisters came over to spiff up the house.  They arrived as usual and complained that more than half of their customers had canceled due to virus fears.  When did I ask Lilian Sequeira how her husband Ronny was doing?  She responded that he was sitting home because all construction had stopped.  “Do I need to prepay you to help you out with cash?” Lilian said that they were fine as they had been hoarding cash.  Her sister said that her husband was in the frozen food business and is still working from home – so the family is okay.  They replied that the children were driving them crazy as they couldn’t do anything or go anywhere.

Jerry mowed the lawn, and I handed him thirty-five dollars cash.  Perhaps I stood too close to him?

 

4/5/2020

 

Joseph found some material to make face masks at the hospital.  The material is used to store sterilized tools during operations.  He will send some to me to see if Robbin can sew him several masks.

He also spoke to a shop in Pensacola, Florida.  They will get back to him.  He went to work today as the Nurse Practitioner was on maternity leave.  He reported that it was quiet and that the hospitals were stocking up to await the patient’s onslaught.

 

4/13/2020

The President forced poor Dr. Faucci to recant his statement that more lives would have been saved if the President had gotten his act together.  The President appointed Larry Kudlow, Ivanka Trump, and Jarrod, among others, to study the COVID problem and come up with a date that everyone can go back to work.  It is not essential to him that no one on his panel of experts has a public health background.

The number of deaths in New York City has leveled to around 800 a day.  Some health practitioners have not shown up for work.

Joseph sent me material, N99.9, for Robbin to put into face masks.  Robbin has been watering her plants in the backyard all afternoon, so I assume that no masks will be produced in a meaningful time.

I spent the day inside.  I went to the bank to deposit a $136.00 check mailed to Iris Tekel by Public Storage.  The branch was closed due to COVID19, so I ran it through the ATM.

I went by the Kori Road Library to return the John Grisham “Guardians” book and the “Fighting with Zombies” by Friedman.  The library was closed, and the dropbox was taped shut with a sign apologizing for the pandemic.

I don’t know why Maggie is sleeping a lot?  The stock market continues to fall in value.

AT&T sent me a WIFI extender for some unknown reason.  I go on the internet and find an Asian Man explaining how to troubleshoot it on YouTube.  I follow his instructions, and they work perfectly.

 

7/11/2020

 

The news has gotten any better.  In fact, it has gotten worse as the number of people infected and dying are spiking again.  Did I mention that Donald Trump’s Republican Party Convention is scheduled to be held in the indoor Arena in August?    He also insists that schools must be open in September.

School teachers and clergy have written letters to the newspapers, magazines, and the White House complaining about school openings.   How will they prevent “social distancing,” and how much will hand sanitizer and face masks cost the school board?  How much will additional sanitizing maintenance staff for every school cost?

I have a heaviness in my chest that I can’t explain.  It must be the intersection of COVID and Black Lives Matter, and neither one is a high priority to me. 

I find myself with more cash than I have ever had in my life.  I have no debts.  My health seems to be okay.  My teeth are cleaned, and cavities are fixed.  I have no relationships now, as I will not let myself go out in public.  I wait until the last moment to get a haircut or go to the grocery store. 

My only ritual is walking the dog and going to Tai’Chi on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I am irked at my accountants, who claim that COVID has put them behind so much that they can not get to my 2019 Tax Return.

Wells Fargo kicked me out of the safety deposit boxes as they are closing the Mandarin North Branch.  I went to the Mandarin Orange Pickers site by appointment.  It was dead and spooky, but they had a lot of large boxes to rent.  Banking is definitely changing.  No auto loans, mortgages, new accounts, etc., will be handled there.

7/29/2020

Today is Wednesday.  This means I get a day off to do nothing.  I looked at my calendar, hoping that there might be an event or an appointment.  Nothing.  I go to Tai Chi Tuesdays and Thursdays in Mandarin Park since the house with the studio burned down.

It’s crazy.  Every month I made out a check for sixty dollars to Ray Wood.  I only saw him in passing last year when he yelled at me for parking on top of the septic tank.  Now we do Tai Chi in the park down the street.  Ray is a distant memory.  Although I paid him over two thousand dollars in three years, he died by committing suicide and left no obituary or survivors.

It’s raining today.  The dog needs to go out, but we need to give it an hour or so.  I spoke to Marion, who said that her COVID-19 test results came out negative.  Good outcome!  She has the sore throat and cough that Esta and Joseph had.

I plan to lay in bed, watching Netflix, and reading a book.  Perhaps the weather will clear, and I can go for a three-mile walk.  There was something on the news about a cyclone out in the Atlantic.  I better watch the news.

 

10/14/2020

 

It is October, but the weather is still a warm ninety degrees.  I am going to Tai’ Chi exercises in Mandarin Park, but the humidity is killing me.  It is about ninety percent.   The other day there was a  peaceful breeze that came from Julington Creek.  I could hear the metal banging the metal masts at the boat marina next to the park.  I also could detect the smell of marijuana and hear laughing from a sailboat moored there.

The park is full of children who are being homeschooled.  They are happy to be outside, but everyone seems lost.  I have been going to the annual doctor visits, but they are mainly ceremonial.  First, to swear that I don’t have or know anyone who has Covid19.  Then the weigh-in and blood pressure test.  Then the medical staff played on the computer—finally, the little business card with the appointment’s date and time next year.

 

I am having a hard time binge-watching tv serials.  My mind keeps wandering to something useful I could be doing.  I haven’t been sleeping for more than five hours straight because I stay up late and then get up early.

I have been riding my bike, but it has been getting darker earlier.  Halloween is at the end of the month, but I decided that there will be no trick or treat at my house this year.  I don’t want strangers coming to my front door to touch the bell or door handles.

I sent money to Francine, Maia, and Akiva.  Only Akiva bothers to cash the checks.

I spoke to Judy Tekel, my mother-in-law, residing in an assistive living facility in South Florida.  Her daughter Rhoda found a gate in the back where she could slip in to visit her mother.  Judy’s brother Jerry has head cancer, and Judy feels that it results from playing golf in the Florida sun.

 

11/27/2020

I bought a six-pound turkey from Publix for $3.00.  I followed YouTube directions, and it came out perfectly.  This year, no one is traveling, and Maxine only had dinner for the immediate family.

 

12/9/2020

The weather has turned cold.  The temperature fell to 35 degrees from a high of 65.  The shadows are long, so many plants are not getting the direct sunshine they require.  I decided to go to Publix to get a Dtap vaccine to protect me against tetanus and whooping cough.  The government unofficially announced that I would be getting a COVID vaccination in the Spring, 2021.

I have been spending the days inside.  I don’t think I can bring any more plants inside without changing the environment.  I have live plants in every room, including the shower stall.

The stock market has taken off.  It has reached an all-time Dow Jones high of over 30,000.  I have never been this financially well off.  I got into a fight with Mutual of America.  I decided to transfer a flexible annuity and an inherited IRA to Fidelity Investments to make it easier for Joseph to figure out.  I am concerned about leaving him a large sum of money.  I have well-funded educational accounts for both Lucy and Julianna.

I spoke with Judy Tekel, my mother-in-law.  She sounds worse mentally.  She said her kids are not visiting her regularly.  I fear she is failing just by being locked up in the assisted living facility.

If I am bored and remember, I will zoom view Minyan and Saturday services at either the Temple or the Center.  Today is a quiet Wednesday.  Next Wednesday, I will be delivering food for JFCS.

I am reading The Innocents by Michael Connelly and watching “New Girl” reruns on Netflix.

Joe Biden has the national votes certified so that he will be President of the US in January 2021.

 

12/29/2020

 

Christmas came and went.  Iris’s Yahrzeit number four was yesterday.  I participated in a Zoom Minyan.  I jerked when the Rabbi said her name along with the others having the same anniversary.

I visited the cemetery on Christmas Day.  It was still wet and cold.   I noticed a depression in the ground in front of her tombstone.  I will have to get some bags of dirt to level it off.  It looks like the gravediggers drive the mowers over her grave, causing the deep tracks.

The weather turned unusually warm even though it is snowing hard out West and up North.  I went to Mandarin Park to practice Tai’ Chi.  I could smell the sweet smells of the forest and the river.  There was a light breeze blowing.  Leaves on the trees at the park were turning brown and golden.  They were flowing lightly as the crows chased each other across the sky.  I felt good to be out.

I went for a haircut in the convertible.  Stores were crowded since school is out during the Christmas break.  Parents had taken their children to the park so it was noisy.

I laid down to rest on my bed in the late afternoon.  I expected Joseph to call me, but he never did.

The phone rang.  It was from Ashley Adams.  Ashley is the daughter of my friend and boss, Jim Adams.  He passed away soon after Iris as a result of brain cancer.  I texted him every day for a year before his death.  I offered to take him to the doctor, take him to lunch, or just visit him.  He just put me off.

Ashley attended Iris’s funeral.  She said that Jim had sent her.  She had a little girl with her.  I noticed the large number of tattoos on her arms.

Ashley’s call shocked me.  She said she got my cell number from Debbie Campbell, who used to work with me at FSS.  She was crying and breathing hard.  She said she didn’t know who to reach out to help her.   She just had a baby this week.  However, the social worker at the hospital called DCF.   The state investigator was writing up a case plan to take care of the baby when discharged.  Ashley said the caseworker said that the baby would have to go to a foster home since her husband and boyfriend lived at the same address and had numerous drug arrests and charges against him.  He was also unemployed.  I was at a loss.  I told her how sorry I was, but I had been retired for over three years and didn’t have access to anyone at the agency or DCF.  She asked for Lee Keywork’s phone number.

I asked God silently; why do these things happen.  The State of Florida has the only answer and will make the obvious decision to take the baby away from her.  I am wondering what Ashley’s father and mother would be thinking if they were alive.  Her situation is a heavenly problem for which I have no answer.  It is like watching an uncomfortable movie with a bad ending.

I am destined to see this child in my old age.  I know it is a boy, and I will not look for him.  He will find me.

Judy Tekel called me tonight.   She is hard of hearing.  I listen to her talk.  She says she appreciates my cards and letters, so that I will send her more in the new year.  Judy said she doesn’t read much anymore, and her eyes are weak.  She speculates that she will be getting a COVID vaccine shot soon.  She also tells me that she likes living in the Assisted Living facility, but she is dining alone in her room.

I think of Iris, and all the days she spent alone in a hospital room.  My heart pounds because I was so scared for her.

 

10/09/2021

 

I had just come back from my three-mile walk.  Although the temperature was in the seventies, I was sweating heavily.

I had hardly closed the door and reached for a glass of water when the doorbell rang.  It must be a neighbor, I concluded.

I opened the door to find Kathy Smith standing there.  She had been a caregiver to Iris for five years previously.  The last time I saw her was at Iris’s birthday party at Maggiano’s.  Iris had stayed in touch with her even though she had disappeared from our life.

Kathy looked at me and blurted out, “Mr. Chuck, I am in trouble and need your help.” Cutting her off, I replied, “Kathy, I’m retired and can’t help you financially.” She started tearing up.

“Can I use your phone?” she said.  “I need to call Brent.” I pointed out where the old landline was located next to the microwave.

I let the dog outside, pretending not to overhear the conversation.  She told Brent where she was and would be walking down the street to meet him. 

Was Kathy vaccinated?  I doubted it.  I also doubted that she cared.

When she first came to work for us, she had no experience.  Iris looked at her mouth, and she had a black tooth right in front of her mouth.  “How disturbing,” Iris had remarked to me.  “This must have occurred over many years.” “I have seen this in abused women, especially those hit in the mouth.” Iris knew dentists who could perform a root canal and cover it with a white cap for that horrible black tooth.

When she returned with her repaired tooth, she was a new person with confidence and a smile.

Now years later, Kathy stood in my foyer crying.  “Do you know anyone who can help me?” she pleaded.  I suggested that she contact JFCS as they get money from United Way and didn’t charge for counseling services.  She dabbed at her eyes.

Then, just like that, she was gone.

I checked the video on my Ring doorbell.

The video showed her approaching the house with no car in sight.  She stood on the front porch arranging her bangs.  Then she reached for the doorbell.  She looked around furtively as if she was mentally preparing for a speech she would give.  She straightened her blouse, and then the door opened.  My voice from inside is heard, and I exclaim in surprise.  She smiles in greeting, and then her face changes.

It is a replay of several other visits, and as a knee-jerk answer, I don’t even need to listen to her or wait for the entire pitch.  They are the same, and I am immediately disappointed.  The surprise visit doesn’t surprise me.

I am caught more off-guard when I get a phone call that someone wants to come over to see me to talk about something important. 

This is what they have done to me.  My compassion, empathy, and generosity are shelved while the better angel in me is abused.

Kathy, we whitened your tooth, but we can’t save your soul.

 

5/23/2022  It is almost a year later.  I have had two shots and one booster shot.  I booked a European trip with Esta, Alan, and Alan’s cousin Karen.  I am dreading that I spent over ten thousand dollars on this.  I will sit on a plane for over twelve hours until we reach Amsterdam.

Covid is resurging, and now there is MonkeyPox.  We have learned nothing.

 

6/20/2022  I went into CVS to get the second booster.  They insisted on giving me another pneumonia shot.

 

6/24/2022  We were doing Tai Chi exercises in Estelle Davis’ house due to the 100-degree weather.  She said her husband, John Reitvold, tested positive, so we would have to cancel.  John was an early Moderna trial candidate with two shots and two boosters.  He appears to have the flu.

5/20/2023

I had a senior wellness checkup with Dr. Carlos, my primary physician.      He said no more Covid shots for you.  You have had at least six and we are concerned that if you get it, it will come back really strong.  No RSV immunization shots for you either.  He sent me to the lab downstairs to get a  blood antibodies test.  It came back with super protection.  Joseph said not to read too much into the report as  he felt that it only showed a current phase.  Joseph said that antibodies wane and was.  So checking daily makes sense.

6/7/2023

Diagnosed with COVID-19.  I conducted a virtual office call with Dr. Carlos as he didn’t want me to come into the office.  He said he is seeing more people with COVID that got all the shots.  He said Prednesone and Hydro would fix  it.